Cheers

I keep waking up with these killer headaches. I can't figure out what from. I'm getting good sleep, not drinking much these days, have a supply of good pot, regular sex fixes, and take a vitamin in the morning. WTF. It makes me think about what I used to drink beer after beer and take shot after shot and wake up the next morning like I never ingested any alcohol. Now, hangovers haunt me.

I read over my last post and felt a rush. Thinking about what we do makes me feel naughty. Makes the child in me feel rotten. But, rotten like a cavity caused by too much candy sort of rotten.

I think a lot about the BEST NIGHT EVER. We sang karaoke, which i did terribly at. I handed the mic to you at the sound of Prince. I refused to sing that. You were my drinking buddy. I decided that after you requested for one I'd be your girl. I loved to drink. I loved to get to flirt with cuties when i was drinking. I was drunk. Drunker than piss. We spent most of the night outside where it was chilly. I wore your big jacket and sat on traffic cones. Apparently drunk girls find that shit cute.

Jade was with a cute boy. There was something ravishing between the two of them. I wasn't really interested in you. I wanted someone who refused to fuck me. It was a joke to me. I knew eventually I could have him, but I was done trying. We rode together in the backseat and I sang as loud as ever. You found a taco bell hot sauce packet. It said "Will you marry me?" on it. You proposed. I accepted. We were engaged.

We got to the second house. The first house was a bust, nothing fun about it. The second house was the one with a keg and a microphone. We spent a lot of time outside talking about relationships, religion, and the government. I was hounded by boys. I didn't really know who to choose. I ended up wanting you. Jade left and I wasn't upset about it. I was alone with you. We were drunk as shit and drinking nasty ice like it was chocolate milk. We were kids. I forgot about the other boy/boys. You were all I wanted.

You'd asked permission to take me home with you. It was sweet. It was a gentleman gesture. I figured out later that was not you. Well, it was you. It was the you that you later refused to show me.

I was in love with your car. I could have sworn it was a BMW, but you corrected me. Your ignition was oddly placed and it excited me. It entertained me to no end.

Don't pull out the keys haha. Wait until we get to my house.
haha I seriously can't believe it's like in your console.

I was seriously inebriated. I'm sure I made some sort of massive fool of myself. But, you were hunched over the wheel and we were both too past being able to drive. You looked like a 90 year old trying to drive: squinty eyes, hunched back, extreme concentration. I was hooked. You were taking extreme care.

Your apartment is perfect. It's much better than what I could have ever expected. I was thinking dirty socks, nasty dishes, no room for walking, bugs on the ceiling sort of place. I got clean, sans dirty socks, sans bugs- what more could a girl ask for?

Honest: It took a lot of digging to remember what we watched that night. It was some sort of outrageous asian movie about a dinasour or something. I don't know. I could be lying. I think that there's a chance it was dealing more with fighting asians... Next subject.

We aren't couple like. We are couple like. We don't try to fake it either. It's comforting. There's a pull between the two. A bit of confusion. I'm still niave at this point. I still think that dating is a possibility. So, if I were writing this then I'd be more serious. Id think he was a pretensious ass. I'd think that he owed me more than a place to sit and view. It's so hard to stay awake. I'd rather just fall asleep than watch this nonsense. But, it makes us laugh. That's uncommon, it's genuine. You go to the bathroom and I nearly fall alseep. I force myself to stay awake. Something amazing is going to happen. There is no question about it.

I didn't know what amazing was. I just knew I wanted it. I really wanted you.

We finally went to your room. It was quaint. Small. Perfect.

We got in bed. It was warm and comfy. Perfect.

We spooned. Your body was smooth. Perfect.

We fucked for hours. We fell alseep around 6am. Perfect.

I woke up to Jade calling.

Hello?
Where are you?
At his apartment.
Where is that?
I don't know.

I sound extremely drunk still. But, really i'm just groggy. I feel full and satisfied, but i feel sober. He tells her where we are. He rolls me over and we start again.

'...the right kind of love on a sunday morning.'

I remember the previous night this song played through a window or a door. I sang it to you.
So, you're a sublime loving girl?
Mhm they're fucking wonderful.
The next morning I woke up to this. It was our soundtrack. It made me laugh and made me hopeful. The sun beemed through your window while we fucked. You're good at what you do.

You tell Jade you're not a jerk. That you didn't use me. I don't know why this was important for you to point out. Well, I do. You care, but you can't. You're good at what you do.

We're some sort of beautiful. It's scary, but I hide it. I'm good at what I do.